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"My Thoughts"
Chandler Welch


When our feelings are more about not being alone or when it's hard to feel okay about ourselves - and we seek out someone  else to fix that - that's not love. 

We can end up with the illusion of love - maybe even a strong      connection in the beginning,  but it almost never lasts - it can't. So the question is: 

 "Do I love you because I need you"?


   "Do I need you because I love you"?

The kind of love that is based on genuine give and take builds a far stronger bond because it creates a feeling of genuine connection and trust.

But when the emotional needs and expectations of one person dominate,  then it's an unhealthy one-sided relationship based on emotional need rather than genuine caring and love.

  • The key to dealing with anxiety is to understand that your mind is working to protect you from what's driving the anxiety to begin with. 

  • So our mind tries to keep pushing the original reasons for the anxiety off into the corner - so we don't keep feeling those feelings. 

  • And we repeatedly or obsessively focus on almost anything else or anyone else - we still feel the anxiety but we're not so focused on those original thoughts or feelings.

  • The Solution: to identify, understand and emotionally process what is driving those thoughts and feelings behind the anxiety. It's a process that works.

  • Separating yourself from the negative emotional messages from the past that has created negative, self-critical feelings about yourself - is key.

  • Because most uncertainty about ourselves is driven by the anticipation of criticism or rejection - from the past.

  • A realistic perspective on yourself - and having a reason to get out of bed in the morning helps us focus on what really matters and what's best for ourselves.

  • Why is that important? Because the criticisms and negative energy from the past has never been based on the reality of who you are.

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