with Dr. Chandler Welch
IS THIS LOVE?
When our feelings are more about not being alone or when it's hard to feel okay about ourselves - and we seek out someone else to fix that - that's not love.
We can end up with the illusion of love - maybe even a strong connection in the beginning, but it almost never lasts - it can't. So the question is:
"Do I love you because I need you"?
"Do I need you because I love you"?
The kind of love that is based on genuine give and take builds a far stronger bond because it creates a feeling of genuine connection and trust.
But when the emotional needs and expectations of one person dominate, then it's an unhealthy one-sided relationship based on emotional need rather than genuine caring and love.
The key to dealing with anxiety is to understand that your mind is working to protect you from what's driving the anxiety to begin with.
So our mind tries to keep pushing the original reasons for the anxiety off into the corner - so we don't keep feeling those feelings.
And we repeatedly or obsessively focus on almost anything else or anyone else - we still feel the anxiety but we're not so focused on those original thoughts or feelings.
The Solution: to identify, understand and emotionally process what is driving those thoughts and feelings behind the anxiety. It's a process that works.
BUILDING CONFIDENCE & STRENGTH
Separating yourself from the negative emotional messages from the past creating negative, self-critical feelings about yourself - is key.
Because most uncertainty about ourselves is driven by the anticipation of criticism or rejection.
A realistic perspective on yourself - and having a reason to get out of bed each morning helps us focus on what really matters to us and what's best for ourselves.
Because the negative critiques and negative energy from the past has never been in your best interest.